Rebuilding a relationship after experiencing a trauma

Trauma effects us differently, for some of us, we thrive through it, it makes us stronger individuals, others struggle and continue to do so for many years, but this isn't about me. This is about us.
I think experiencing something at the same time as someone else can be a helping hand, but it can also be the biggest downfall in your relationship.
You're both experiencing something, and maybe it's for the first time but you're also handling it very differently. 
Trauma can take everything that you've got, your security, calm and trust, and it is only in overcoming a traumatic experience that we can regain back those senses, but the biggest challenge of all, is rebuilding your relationship to its previous state.
It's the struggle of what comes next, does this experience make us stronger, or will we crumble at the next hurdle.

I'm no expert when it comes to relationships, I struggle on the best of days, but rebuilding yourself and each other is something that has to be done together. There are definitely days where I've felt as if I've been the only one trying, and I'm sure Jack has felt exactly the same way, and trust me, it's much easier to give in and throw the towel down, but neither of us like to give up that easily.
At the moment we're on a rebuilding path, we're not sure if we're heading the right way but we're starting to understanding that we'll both progress at our own pace and there's no need to race to the finishing line.
I think we both set ourselves unrealistic targets, both aiming to achieve something in a period of time, that frankly was too soon for both of us, and in someways, still is.
Rebuilding after trauma is about patience, taking the time to appreciate that everyone deals with things at a different pace and in a different way. There is a lot to deal with, both physically and mentally, for the both of us.

Slow and steady wins the race.

We're coming to terms with reality, life moves on and the more we encourage and take those forward steps, our relationship gradually redevelops itself into something positive, and something that we can realistically look forward to.
A traumatic experience shouldn't define you, nor your relationship. Instead, focus on the strengths and be proactive on them. The end goal is to come through this together, and to come out stronger on the other side.
We've hit our bump in the road, but slowly, we're climbing through to the other side - it sounds super corny, but you can't rebuild without the support of others.

4 comments:

Keeley Watts said...

Keep at it guys! I admire that you are working, if it is meant to be it will be.

Keeley x
www.phatcupcake.com

Carl Baker said...

Hey

Great post, I've been with my wife over 15 years and things definitely needed work.

Like Keeley says above, keep at it

Carl
Www.ablokeseyeview.co.uk

Nina said...

So much wisdom.thank you for sharing. May your relationship be filled with happiness,peace,love,strength,health and abundance

Cielo said...

This is very engaging. Love this! I hope everything going well on your end:)


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